I have the undeserved privilege of putting my thoughts to (electronic) paper, hitting "send" and hundreds of people "get" to share my thoughts about what is happening in the world, in my life, in my heart. I commit to you dear ones that even in my life, there are many a day when I am just weary and burdened and my labors, well, they seem pretty heavy. I feel like I am pulling a cart uphill that is just too big. Many years ago I was diagnosed, like a great number of people are, with "clinical" depression and, if my understanding is correct, that means chemically, there's some stuff missing that keeps me some days from being "centered." I did take medication for awhile and while I believe that if it is a need then, by all means, take it. I found for me, however, that there were many things I could do daily that served to keep the big gray blanket of sadness from smothering me and most days, I seem to do fine. If you know me or read my thoughts here then you know on May 25 I broke my leg. June 3 I had surgery and on June 8 I learned that the job I held and loved for eight years was coming to an end. Durnig the past three years we have watched our oldest sink deeper into a lifestyle that we knew could destroy him and yet prayer and Godly counsel instructed us to "do nothing" and don't rescue. Talk about firewood in the cart! I am a do-er by nature and yet so many things have been happening that it is beyond me to fix. Matthew 11:28 from the New King James says:"Come unto me all you who labor and are
heavy laden, and I WILL give you rest."
Sometimes, dear ones, we just can't pull the cart any more and we get really, really tired. As I have gone before the King, weeping in frustration, His kind and gentle words to me are "child, let go." He promises not to let "my cart" - my life, come crashing down. Yeah, the wheels are broken but we're limping along - literally! He has sent some AMAZING friends and family members to care for us, help us, feed us, love us and pray for us when we couldn't even pray for ourselves and He WILL do that for you, too. I have learned that the crazier life gets, the more I need to go to the Savior. He asks me daily to take up my cross - His cross and in carrying only that, we find rest and peace. I know that He will lead me beside still waters and He WILL restore my soul. I encourage you to let Him. I am. I will. I'll keep you posted. Send me a note to home or from Facebook and let me know how you're doing, k? I commit to you all to to write more and thank you that HIs love - your love beckons me to come. Loving you, with His love! AA
2 comments:
As always, thank you for sharing. I hope that you and your family have a nice weekend, and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers in these difficult times.
"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen."
-Reinhold Niebuhr
Thank you my love and I thank you that even when the burden is so heavy that we cannot pray for ourselves, those who love us are committed to carry us to the throne of grace. Like Sam said to Frodo in The Lord of the Rings "I cannot carry [this burden] for you, but I can carry you." Thank you for carrying us!
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