Long time, no write . . .

Lots going on these days . . . working to find replacement job, getting through physical therapy, walking with others through their struggles, still having many, many blessings to count amidst the tears.

I've learned that when things are not terribly stressful, it is easy to write and journal and blog. When the stresses mount, we tend to retreat and it is at those times when we need to reach out to friends and family and Jesus.

Life is tough, God is faithful. If we're still here, drawing breath, we have something to be thankful for. I don't know what the future holds but I know who holds the future and as long as I place my trust in Him, things will be okay.

A dear friend shared with me something going on her life that was really painful and it made me weep. What she is going through now, I have been through in my own life and I can empathize with her. I shared with her how, one day, many, many years ago (20 to be exact) not long after Joe's father died, I had pulled my car off to the side of the road. I was crying so hard I couldn't see to drive and this was certainly the days before cell phones. I was alone with God and I asked that He not let any of the pain in my life be wasted. I told Him that if even one life was touched by what I was going through then it would all be worth it. I meant it and He has not wasted the pain and the heartache and I know beyond a doubt that He has and continues to allow my experiences to bring a message of His grace and mercy to the lives of other women. For this, I am thankful and when I can't think of any other blessing at the moment, I know I have that one.

Just wanted to share some thoughts. Lots going on, lots to sort through and organize but know this: You are loved!

For His Glory - Friday, July 17, 2009 - "Change"

Admittedly, I am not good with change. I am an exquisite creature of habit. I can look back now and comfortably say that graduating from high school sent me in to a 17-year tail spin that I'm certain my folks thought I may never recover from. I can also see that during most of that time, I had no "routine" and my body and my emotions suffered. Despite the difficulties at times of raising two teen boys, our little family has, for a number of years, had a fairly comfortable "routine" and any change to that "routine" has been well-discussed and gradual. As you know, the ebb and flow of my life was significantly impacted on Memorial Day of this year when I fell and broke my leg. I could no longer tend routine housekeeping, keep my "regular" appointments at the gym or, for that matter, even get to church (ouch)! Getting to work was even a challenge. Along the way, some routine has been added back in because of a physical therapy schedule but, early in the adventure (approximately five days after surgery to repair my leg), I learned that my job of eight years was coming to an end . . . and I am grieving the change. While I try not to be rigid, I have learned that in my life, if there is order and routine, my husband and children have security and peace and while they can't tell you why, they know in Momma's house, there is order and security and peace. I'm not good, initially, at responding to the upsets which are a part of normal life but I am learning through this, the One that does not and will never change is Jesus. I can place my trust in Him and if it is real trust, I will have the security my routine alone cannot give me. New stuff - "change" is just part and parcel of living and if we allow Him to, God can and will grow us through those changes and we can accept the change that God brings. Our sweet Tanner returned from Christ in Youth Camp on Wednesday morning, restored in the Lord and recommitted to a life in Christ. I had left work last evening sobbing over the change I hadn't asked for and hurting because of it. Seeing Tanner diligently reading and studying the Word, I was compelled to pick up my own Bible and the Lord mercifully sent me to Lamentations, Chapter 3, beginning with Verse 21 which says:

21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have HOPE:

22 Because of the Lord's great love we are NOT CONSUMED,

for his compassions (MERCIES) never fail.

23 They are new every morning; great is YOUR faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."

25 The Lord is good to those whose HOPE IS IN HIM,

to the one who seeks him. (Words His, emphasis mine).

Dear friends, Jeremiah 29 tells us that God KNOWS the plans He has for us, plans that will not harm us but His Plans give to us a HOPE and a future . . . if we will completely, fully, put our trust in Him. It is my prayer for each of us today that regardless of the changes coming to pass in our lives, we will allow the Lord to work His Will and His plan and that He will continue, through the changes to mold us, shape us and refine us into vessels that reflect His Glory and live out, through Him, His purpose and His Plan. Loving you all this Friday! AA

Letting Go - For His Glory - Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Wow - what a month. June, 2009 will, for me, go down in the history of my recent life as one filled with a LOT of sadness and, well, letting go. Two of our neighbors have had to let go (hopefully, temporarily) of the possibility of a lifetime marriage. A dear friend has had to let go of his wife to full time nursing care as she is stricken with advanced Alzheimer's and he has had to let his cancer-ridden daugther go Home to be with Jesus. One of my lifelong friends and her family has had to let go of her older sister who died suddenly of a massive heart attack this past Saturday. Me, well, I have had to let go - at least for now - of our Joey to allow him to find his way back to us and to Jesus - in God's time and I am having to let go of the grip I had on what I thought was the certainty of employment as our Firm is closing and, unless another door opens, I will be unemployed for the first time in many years. Since hearing the news of our Firm's closing and learning that I would not "go" with either partner to his new "adventure" as a full-time employee I have been exquisitely sad - grieving the loss, scared of the unknown future. My sweet brother and his wife endured such a loss when the construction industry came to an abrupt end two years ago and he sold a 16-year lucrative business. They had to sell their "dream" home and for the most part, he has been unemployed for nigh on a year - ever hopeful, ever diligent but remaining faithful to be obedient to God's direction. As my older sister and I were chatting last evening about "stuff" and the upcoming celebration for my parents' 50th Anniversary I finally told her "you know, Rob, if I lose everything it's gonna be okay and God is still gonna be God." In that moment, I knew I had let go of what I thought was my security -- my job, my home, my "stuff" and was reminded by the Holy Spirit that my security - OUR security my dear friends, is in our relationship with the Almighty God. Life IS temporary and marriages can be too. Jobs - well, we know what has happened and will continue to happen. Children and parents die and we grieve and we grieve the loss of where we are believing that if we are not "here" then where will we be? Job - confronted with the loss of his entire family and everything he owned said this

(Chapter 1, beginning at Verse 21)

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,

and naked I will depart.

The Lord gave

and the Lord has taken away;

may the name of the Lord be praised."

22 IN ALL THIS, Job DID NOT SIN

by charging God with wrongdoing.

In a later chapter of Job's story Job asked if we should only take the good and not the bad? His wife told him he should curse God and die but Job told her "I KNOW that MY redeemer lives and HE at LAST on earth WILL stand!" HALLELUJAH my friends!! I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES and He desires for me - for us - to let go of everything and cling to the one certainty - an eternal life with Him when He is our Savior and King and we abide in the Shelter of the most high God!!! Do I want to "let go" of my home? No, but it's brick and mortar and while I believe it is a gift from God and we live there at His ordination if He has a different plan for us - so be it! No, I'm not gonna lay down and say "whatever" when it comes to generating an income - that would be irresponsible and I would not be a good steward of the talents God has given me as a paralegal and health educator. But, friends, God has numbered EVEN the hairs of our heads and "look at the lillies of the field" - Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these!!! TAKE HEART dear ones - regardless of what is going on around us - GOD IS STILL GOD and He at last on earth SHALL STAND!! Let go - Let God. Pray for us because life is tough and we need all the intercession you'll do for us. Trust as you come to me with your requests, I am lifting you to the throne of Grace and carrying you to the feet of Jesus. Loving you, with HIS love and For His Glory - Andrea and Brendan